Reality check

Inside my head I’m practically French. I live it and breathe it (on weekends...as much as possible...when les enfants agaçants aren’t bellowing belligerent English mots in my oreilles), I throw parties in French. and I drink French wine whenever I can get my hands on it.

But then, inevitably, something happens to remind me how loin d’être française I am.

All because I get full of the French in my head, forgetting it's pretty much trapped in there still.

«Ha, I think, in quasi-self-convincing French. It’s been months since I last discovered I couldn’t compete with a native French speaker at Lexulous (a strange and challenging version of Scrabble on Facebook). Surely I would hold my own now that I’ve been quasi-self-convincingly sort of immersed en français, for oh, une heure, plus ou moins cinquante minutes.»

About three moves and a handicap of more than 200 points later, I've changed my tune.

Comment dit-on «Wrong again»?
 
Following are a few things that remind me that I'm not there yet…gleaned from my own experiences and what I’ve heard from others…

• Watch a movie in French…without the subtitles...for five minutes.
• Call a French friend’s father…try to have a conversation en français.
• Try to read a French children's book and get the gist without looking up words.
• Make a meal in your kitchen, calling things strictly by their French names.
• Invite two French friends over for cocktail and try to hold up your end of the conversation. Or just try to figure out what they’re laughing about.
• Put your Facebook home page into French as the language and try to update your privacy settings.
• Challenge a French speaker to a friendly game of Lexulous!

Bonne chance!